It’s funny how, as a roleplayer, it’s easy to become a creature of habit. If I rolled back time a decade, I’d find that I’m still following the same gaming schedule, I still have the same gamer friends and I buy my gaming stuff and reading material from the same FLGS. These things survived my growing family (in 2003, my wife and I were married a year; now we have 3 children), career changes, and new mailing addresses. If anything, my regular gaming habit actually strengthened over the decade as I became a freelancer and eventually a staffer in the RPG industry.
Over the weekend, heck, over one day (Saturday), I was handed two major gaming blows. The first I’d known for over a month; my FLGS (Between Books in Claymont, DE), had lost its lease and this past Saturday was its last day. The second I’d suspected for a few days when I got a cryptic email about ‘big news.’ One of my regular players is moving away and this will likely dissolve my weekly gaming group.
Change is inevitable; stores open and close, new friends are made and old ones leave. It’s remarkable how stable my gaming life had been over a decade and it’s hard to absorb these developments. Even now, as I write this, I’m still a bit shell-shocked.
I’ve been here before. I know it’s not the end. I’ve had friends disappear from my life before and I’m sure it will happen again. I’ve had previous FLGS’ close and the owner of my recently-ended one plans to be back in the fall (fingers crossed). If not, I’m sure I’ll find another. A new store and a new group won’t be the same, but it’ll be a fresh start with new dynamics and I’ll soldier on just fine. Previous experience has taught me that it’ll only strengthen my GMing skills.
At the same time, these developments have forced me to take a look at my current circumstances and how I’m allocating my time. It’s a chance to look at the priorities in my life and making sure they’re where they need to be. Maybe my new group won’t meet as often; maybe I’ll be a player for a while. Maybe it’s time to just take a break for a bit. Or maybe not.
I don’t really have any GMing advice to dispense this time around except that change is inevitable and you have to roll with the punches. Don’t despair when your group falls apart or you lose that friendly, knowledgeable ear. You’ll get through it and will ultimately benefit from it.
Good Gaming!
Hm. Good luck finding a new GS. I’m surprised your old one lasted ten years. These days it is depressingly common to get blank looks when you chide someone for using the FLGS as a shop window for a future Amazon or eBay purchase.
The loss of one person will “kill” your game group? That’s unfortunate. However, a new group might let you explore some of the options you’ve spoken of in the past.
I feel your pain. My LFGS is closing at the end of May, and it was the nicest game store from a game hosting perspective I’ve ever come across in over 30 years of gaming. I doubt I’ll ever see another as well appointed.
Thanks!
I do have another, more traditional gaming group, but my home campaign was a cozy group (me, my wife, and two good friends). We had a unique style that will be difficult to transfer. I don’t see us continuing without getting a new “third.”
Is the guy who owns the LFGS in your group? Maybe he can jump in and replace your departing player.
Please consider taking a hiatus. Then embrace the goodness of VTT that is Roll20 computer systems. You can keep your old group together (assuming they want to stay together). Take a break with the group to allow the move to run its course then start slow so the players can learn the ins and outs of Roll20. A wonderful system, I am using it for a group that has been together for over 25 years and is still going strong. Ignore the longevity of my group, they like each other, they have a natural bond of their character types of Dwarven fighters, Human mages and Druids, Hobbit thieves, and Elven rangers. They like who thy are, they like playing ogether, and I like running the games. Consider doing this.
I’m sorry to hear about both blows. Hope your game group is new and improved in the near future, and that you find another excellent game store soon.
Losing a FLGS is always a bummer, unless a nice new sparkling store opens up in your area to replace it. I really lucked out in that department.
When it comes to a change in a group just embrace it. Sure, you miss the old friend, but you never know who else you’ll meet and that is one of this hobbie’s adventures all by itself. I’ve made many a good friend over a game table. I can only count on one hand the number of people I’d rather never see again (32 years).
I, however, did do a bunch of pieces on this sort of thing when I had the long-running gaming group blow apart due to divorce, people moving away, etc…
Things Fall Apart http://wp.me/pEo0Y-hu
A Good Night at the Table http://wp.me/pEo0Y-le
Do you have to actually lose the player? Maybe not… http://wp.me/pEo0Y-Fl
I long since moved away from using local game stores — the one in Albuquerque stinks on ice, and before that I moved around too much with the military to be able to get into the habit of going to one in particular…now I mostly order physical books from Amazon or the producer, or I go pdf from Drive Thru. But I do miss the days of Complete Strategist in Philly in the ’80s, or Wargames West in Albuquerque in the 90s, when you could go in and hang out and learn about the games and meet people…
My sympathies. I really hope Between Books reopens!
I’ve been recalibrating since learning that one of my players is leaving for the opposite coast at the end of the summer. This involves a shift from one arc plotline to another. Or, to put it another way, being a GM means looking over my notes and saying, “Hrm, I’m going to have to move the Irish Potato Famine up by at least five years.”
It always stinks when this happens, I had to put my priorities first myself years ago with a new wife and child, I decided to move south to make a better life for them so I transferred my job and moved. I tried to find a new group down here but it did not work, the first one was,,,well lets say had a interesting way of playing, and would only play D&D 3e, and that it, nothing else,,,,,ever. The second group was small and we tried to experiment with 4e, needless to say that only lasted a few sessions, and then the DM changed jobs and he had to move away. I have four kids and a very demanding job so gaming I hate to say has taken a back seat (like in a suburban) back seat for now, sooner or later life will slow down I hope.