Courtney Solomon, “acclaimed” “director” of Dungeons & Dragons: The Movie, has been picked to helm a film based on the Forgotten Realms, one of the longest-running and most popular fantasy settings around.
Here’s the combination nifty part/kick in the teeth: It’s going to be split-screen, with the movie on one side, and Solomon’s D&D group playing the campaign of the movie on the other side — and Vin Deisel is cast as the GM.
So what could be a cool concept — seeing a D&D game literally translated into a movie, real-time, with Hollywood’s most famous gamer in the GM’s chair — is going be wind up being a huge waste of time, thanks to Courtney “Fuck You, Gamers” Solomon. Why does Wizards keep bending over for this guy? (Via Gaming Rep0rt.)
It’s an interesting concept, and I could see it working if it were random cutaways (for example, after a particularly nice move where the half-elf swings across a chandelier and tackles the villain, knocking him out cold, you cut away to see the gaming group celebrating).
Of course, if it were an actual gaming session it would probably make a terrible movie…
Guards: Look! There’s someone sneaking around in the shadows over there!
Halfling: Oh bother…
Halfling’s player: Oh, wait, I forgot to add in my size modifier to my hide check!
Guards: La la la I don’t see anything!
Not to mention that if it were a real gaming group the movie would probably have to be rated NC-17 just because of the language… From what I’ve gathered, and my group’s no different, D&D is just an excuse for friends to get together and compete to see who can make the most horrifically obscene jokes and references.
You know, it just occurred to me that this has to be an April Fools day joke.
Even sadder, it’s like the third I’ve fallen for today and I just woke up an hour ago.
I’m never this gullible. wtf. :/
Nice one Martin.
Happy April Fools to you too!
Sadly, I knew this was an April Fool’s joke *and* I liked the concept anyway.
I seriously need to get out more often.
The unfortunate thought is exactly how *believable* this story is. I won’t call it fatalism, but I think that we gamers have come to expect the short end of the stick with any sort of mass-media representation even vaguely reflecting on RPGs.
I have to admit that I read the blog and had to take a moment to think “Is it, or isn’t it?”.
1) Because it is a well done April Fool’s joke.
2) Martin might just have let the disaster genie out of the bottle, and some exec is reading this right now thing “Brilliant!”.
Yeah, the sad thing is just how really believeable this is. :/
in other news, the role of the popular dark elf drizzt do’urden will be played by ‘bobcat bob’ goldthwait, who kinda needs the work.
It was harder than I expected to make this believable, but I had fun with it. I’m glad I fooled at least one reader (sorry, Ian ;)), and that folks enjoyed it.
The idea was adapted from one that I had back in elementary school: same split-screen concept, but one side of the split is only 1/5 of the screen, and it displays stats and rolls for the action on the other side. Garg the barbarian swings his sword in the movie, and the non-movie bit of screen is showing his character sheet and a die roll. Silly, but I’ve always found it oddly compelling, too.
Sadly, Courtney Solomon is still allowed near a camera — he now runs After Dark Films.
It’s not as unplausible as it sounds…the concept of the movie is…well, interesting, but the Vin Diesel connection is entirely possible. He *did* write the foreword for the anniversary D&D book, after all, so I guess he’s a D&D fan.
I know this was an April Fools’ joke, but I have to say that I don’t see why it would be such a bad idea — in the hands of a director equal to the task, of course. I think that a movie done like this could potentially be really cool.