No matter what system you’re playing, or what your primary gaming interests are (combat, storytelling, characterization, complex plotting, etc.), every campaign can be improved with immersive, you-are-there descriptions of the world and what happens in it.
In my experience, one of the single biggest factors in creating immersive descriptions is including more than just the two most obvious senses (sight and hearing). Smell, touch and (where applicable) taste can be equally powerful as tools to pull your players into the game world.
I’ve always loved crafting detailed descriptions when I GM, and I’ve done this for years — but I didn’t see it as an explicit goal, or actively think about involving multiple senses, before I started writing for Tabletop Adventures. While it takes some effort at first — because it’s so much easier to just describe what the PCs see and hear, and leave it at that — the payoff is worth it.
Vicki Potter, my editor at TTA, has written an excellent free PDF on this topic (direct link to PDF), Using Description to Enhance Your Game. It’s a great introduction to employing all five senses when describing things to your players.
This isn’t the only way to create immersive descriptions, of course. What’s in your GMing toolkit when it comes to immersing your players in the world around their PCs?
When I’m writing up adventures/dungeons/areas I use a template that has the 5 senses, special notes, enemys, etc. and a “something of interest” field. I try to fill in every one of the descriptor category. Then when I’m at the table, I just grab 3 or 4 to fit into my opening explanation of the room. I also try to write down something evocative about the area.
Descriptors
Sight:
Sound:
Feel:
Smell:
Taste:
Size:
Shape:
Evocative:
———–
Enemies:
Special Notes:
It would fit well onto an index card, but I usually just copy and paste into the word file that I’m making up for the dungeon/area/etc. I don’t give full description for everything, but try to think of my descriptions like the dungeon itself.
I’ll describe a room as “you see the slimy rough (feel) stone walls stretching a few feet above your head (sight and size) in the oblong room. The pillars that support it are spaced every 10 feet are so and look solid enough to withstand ragnarok. (Sight, Evocative). Wind blows through the large and long room from corridors off to the side.” Then when I get to the corridors, I try to grab one or two linking elements to get them down to the next place.
“The wind blows past, more fiercely and coldly. The slime traces a windblown path down the columns as you proceed past them. ” I try to keep linking in different descriptors to maintain the original immersion, but not detract from the game element. Used with a picture or two that shows the generals of what I want, I’ve gotten some pretty rapt audiences. One time they forgot to do anything, they were just waiting to hear what came next.
How would you feel about my turning your comment into a guest post, John? Other than a quick editing pass for typos and the like, it’s ready as-is. If you’re OK with the standard guest post agreement, just let me know and I’ll get it posted. 🙂
Describing things in motion helps convey that you’re not looking at a static picture. Habits, catchphrases, and alternate vocabularies can really enhance the feel of a person as an individual.
A burst of description, conveying motion, shape, and a blur of color, then rolling for initiative can pump up the adrenaline.
Oooooh, that’s a good one, Scott — I’ve never thought of doing that. Any interest in expanding it into a guest post?
Rock on martin. This is one of those topics that there is always room for more discussion on. Every GM has their own style, and it always helps to see others takes on how to convey ideas to players. So often we find something that works for us, and get stuck in that groove. I could even see this being a Wiki page, or the next WIKI to PDF project.
i’ve never been good at describing more than sight, really. sometimes sound, when its particularly relevant. i like scott’s suggestion, its a natural extension of my normal style.
This also tangentally touches on the first- vs. third-person narrative description. Personally, I’ve found that the more in-depth of a description you give of the world (unless it’s straight box text), the better chance that you and your players will naturally fall into using a first-person narrative.
John’s notes (senses and feelings) fit well in either narrative choice, but ScottM’s seems more suited to a first-person narrative than a third, especially when you’re trying to convey individuality with vocabulary (educated, uneducated, non-native speaker, accents, etc.) and catchphrases (“YaknowwhatImean?”, “Nyar!”, “Five-by-five”).
If you’ve played under a nondescriptive GM, you know how much it takes away from the game. It’s like reading a book from a mediocre author, or watching a bad actor in a movie.
This is a skill that’s hard to master, especially as one’s verbal style may not be for everyone (see: “Gygaxian Prose”).
Great choice for a blog entry, and for a topic for GMs to learn from.
“Oooooh, that’s a good one, Scott — I’ve never thought of doing that. Any interest in expanding it into a guest post?”
Hmm, I don’t know if there’s more than that snippet to be honest. I’ll see if there’s more to it and let you know if something develops.
A tip from Stephen King for writers is not to use adverbs. This may not seem like a big deal, but I started using it in my descriptions and I think it really makes a difference.
Example:
Adverb – “The weather mane is slightly off center and wobbly as the wind spins it violently. It looks to be poorly cared for.”
Without Adverb – “The weather mane leans to the left and wobbles as if about to snap off due to years of neglect as the wind spins it with a violent force.”
By not using adverbs you tend to be much more descriptive (that’s the theory at least).
Another thing I like to do is to try and portray the mood of the scene via anthromorphism (describing non-human items using human qualities).
Example:
“The pounded copper of the rooster figure on the weather mane seems to sigh as it continues its never ending journey of rotations. The exhaustion of a traveler always on the run but never getting anywhere.”
You can use these techniques with any of the senses for describing a scene.
And that was supposed to be weather vane, not mane, by the way. 🙂
VV “Too tired to realize what he is doing.” GM
I like that with out adverbs. I think honestly the combination of all of the above would probably make a good pdf project. If I come up with anything, I would like to contribute but from past experiences and all the gm weakness articles this is one of mine so, I would benefit greatly from this project.
A tip from Stephen King for writers is not to use adverbs. This may not seem like a big deal, but I started using it in my descriptions and I think it really makes a difference.
Whenever I see that bit of advice, I always have the urge to say, “Look, Mr. King, the fact that you can’t use adverbs effectively doesn’t mean all of the rest of us are so handicapped.”
The secret, as in all rhetorical tricks, is to use adverbs sparingly. Four in two sentences (as your weather vane example) is, in fact, a bit much. But it could be rewritten with one and sound fine: “The weather vane leans off center and wobbles as the wind spins it violently. It looks like it’s been neglected for years.”
(And while we’re on grammatical shibboleths, that last sentence includes a passive clause! Oh noes!)
I have a very hard time maintaining a consistent level of description, so this type of article is helpful. John’s template is a great idea I am going to try to incorporate (though one of my main challenges is the lack of any particular adventure plan during any particular session, so most things get made up on the fly). Generally at the beginning of campaigns I try to be more descriptive, but if it seems the players are not ever interacting with the environment described, it becomes a chore to constantly spin out exposition on the surroundings. When the players do interact it seems to be easier to maintain.
My one-session foray into horror (in what was otherwise a pretty generic D&D campaign) seemed to pull me along into providing some great descriptions involving all 5 senses, and I was surprised I actually managed to terrify my players; they still occasionally float the idea of doing another horror adventure. I always thought it was lightning striking, but I wonder if doing something unfamiliar provokes a DM into thinking about the environment differently or even just forces them to visualize more, and thus provide better descriptions.
One concept I’ve used to great effect is “modeling.” It’s easy, intuitive really, to create more vivid descriptions if you can relate your setting to something you’ve experienced in the real world. Your mind’s eye can easily paint a picture, play a soundtrack, and even add smells and tactility (is that a word?) to places that you’ve been.
By way of example, I ran a long-running modern fantasy campaign (using the Witchcraft game) set in a fictional New Jersey island shore town. Being from New Jersey and spending many summers at the shore, it was easy for me to convey the salty sea air, the creaking of boardwalk floor boards, and the smell of cheesesteaks, hot sausage and peppers wafting from the foodstands.
I also added in elements of other places. Cape May has a pedestrian street lined with shops, so I modeled a pedestrian street after it. Numerous visits to Newport, RI inspired my own “mystery tower” (which turned out to have a connection to both Native Americans and Norsemen) and a “cliff walk” that surrounded the bottom tip of the island. Local bars, restaurants, clubs and shops were all modeled on places that I frequent in real life. I also wanted a college on the island, so I used the layout of a local college that I’d attended. Finally, I had a copy of my hometown city
charter from an old college project. That became my blueprint for the fictional government.
As in most tourist towns, there is some tension between natives and tourists, especially during tourist season. My wife told me of similar experiences in her college town. I incorporated both into my setting to add layers of obstacles when the PCs (all college students) were trying to be diplomatic with members of the community.
Anyway, I’m starting to ramble. To reiterate my point, adapting and incorporating real-life experiences made it possible for my setting to “come alive” when describing it to my players. I really could imagine myself walking through these “fictional” places, and that made it very easy for me to relate to the players using all of my senses.
One of the real challenges I had when running Werewolf was to remember to always start with and emphasize how things smelled.
(Jeb) One of the real challenges I had when running Werewolf was to remember to always start with and emphasize how things smelled.
That would be tough! I’d probably have to paperclip a note to the inside of my screen that said “Remember: Smells” to have any chance of remembering something like that.
Hey all, just found this site, figured I’d add.
Use strong and unusual adjectives:
“… with the brakelights of passing cars ‘bleeding’ into the evening sky …”
Don’t jump senses too fast, linger and mesh:
“… a sudden silence had fallen over the battlefield, ocassionally broken by a cough or uneasy shifting of weight. “They will be upon us soon,” the veteran assured, his resonate voice and scarred face betraying his obvious years. I hardly heard him over the beating of my own heart, the knot in my throat and the incessant digging of my tarnished greave into the cold earth.”
Be minimal and precise: (Bad example)
“… she wandered aimlessly through the bustling, arched corridors, with the sun beating down against her face.”
Cut out “with the” and rearrange.
“… wandering aimlessly through the bustling, arched corridors, sun beating down against her face.”
You get the idea.
Revision, revision, revision:
If time permits, take a break from your writing and come back to it with a ‘fresh eye.’ It will help you to notice previous mistakes you were too familiar with to notice.